Always be ready to give an account for the reason of your faith.
I doubted off and on many times, for many years. I tried to uncover the truth on my own. I leaned on my own understanding. It led me to propositions that would end in confusion, contradiction, and despair.
I realized that many of those who question the Gospel likewise are not persuaded by scientific facts or reality (abortion, binary gender), so there's no reason to use their tactics in approaching truth, as they have been proven to be faulty.
Others who doubt the faith nonetheless do not live by any alternative that would be convincing to it's efficacy: they lack inner peace & joy; they're anxious about many things. What good would it do me to follow in their footsteps? We could wallow together in misery, but why if there's a better way?
I decided that I - and everyone for that matter - want to be happy. So I began to reflect on what brings lasting happiness. It's not material goods. It's not prestige. It's not control or power. It's not even perfect health and creature comforts. All these things come and go.
But when I considered the approach provided by the gospel of Jesus, it all fell into place. God made me for a specific purpose: to know, love, and serve Him, *so that* I can spend eternity in heaven with Him. In other words, God's purpose for my life is my lasting happiness!
The way to this happiness is through discerning and abiding by natural laws and principles that are outlined in the Bible, specifically in the Gospels (especially the Beatitudes and the entire Sermon on the Mount) and Proverbs and the 10 Commandments. These have been tried and true. Those who do not follow these do not experience lasting joy and peace.
I also discovered that faith is both a grace and a choice. If I consciously choose to believe and ignore the temptations of the world (to trust my own intellect, for instance), then God will reward me with a strengthened and ongoing faith. Therefore I choose to believe in the Nicene Creed. Since I say this is a choice, no appeal to my pride will shake my faith because it isn't based on my own understanding. It is based on grace and will.
Having a certain faith has proven to be especially grounding and centering as our society - both culture and politics - has continued to deteriorate into utter chaos. In this environment, if one doesn't stand for something - something solid and everlasting - then one will fall for anything, and any number of things.
I thank God for my autistic brain, which does not allow me to tolerate nonsense. Things must make sense to me for me to accept them, and in a Catholic-Christian world-view, they do. The world makes sense. The chaos makes sense. The desires of my heart make sense. The trials we face make sense. And if all these things line up, I'd be a fool to refuse to extend this sense-making to the belief in eternal life, salvation, and heaven with God.
I believe because it makes me happy. I believe because the alternative is utter despair. I believe because I choose to believe, and in turn, God blesses me with faith. I believe because it makes better sense than not believing. Amen.
