I recently came across an estimate of what I can expect to
spend on a child in the first year.
The official guess? Over
$10,000. Yeah, right. Somebody’s sniffing glue. Then again, let’s itemize some of the biggest
expenses.
Nearly $7,000 of that estimate is in childcare costs. I will be staying home with the baby, so
while we will be losing my income, it’s always been a bit sporadic and
unpredictable anyway. And since we can
swing it, then there is no one better to take care of our baby then one of us!
$864 in disposable diapers for the first year, so roughly
$1,700 from birth through potty training.
$228 for the year if I use and wash my own cloth diapers, which should
pretty much remain the same through potty training and a sibling. Taking into account the fact that we’ve
already purchased our diapers previously and used them with our foster
daughter, we only have to purchase a few more prefolds and covers that got lost
along the way. It won’t be more than
about $100.
Roughly $630 for 6 months worth of formula, compared to zero
for exclusive breastfeeding. If I can
help it, I will tap into my magical power of milk production!
Another expense that my personal experience cautions me
against is saving for college. First of
all, not everyone goes to college, and not everyone has to. There are various career fields where our
child can be successful without a four-year degree. They may open up their own business. They may be an artist or an athlete. They may have a calling to the religious
life, where they may not even need to come out of pocket for their
education. Second of all, the first two
years of college cover what I believe everyone should know before they graduate
high school anyway. College is a right
of passage, more about social life than academics. I’m not going to chip away year after year so
my kid can have an on-campus experience.
Our investment in our child’s education will come in the form of
homeschooling – the socially tapped-in kind.
That’s up to $1,000 per year we can be applying towards family travel,
which can be much more educational than a couple of semesters in a classroom!
Another expense that I can’t promise bc I’m married to Mr.
Likes-to-shop is kids’ clothing.
Obviously, in the first year of life, a child goes through a lot of
clothes for the simple reason of regularly outgrowing them. Yet this is all the more reason not to have
30 outfits in any single size! There are
a few staples that will be needed in each size, but I will not apologize for my
child wearing the same outfit twice in one week, so long as it’s clean! What’s more, people tend to like buying baby
clothes (and toys, another unnecessary expense!) as gifts, so we will only
supplement whatever we don’t receive from our generous family and friends!
I mentioned toys.
There are some fascinating toys out there, but two caveats with
that. One, babies don’t need toys. That doesn’t come into play until they’re a
little older. Two, toys are mostly for
the adults anyway, to relive their happy childhoods. Kids’ imagination should be encouraged as
much as possible. Only a few select
classics like books, blocks, a doll or teddy, crayons, etc. are necessary. Many everyday household items can be easily
used for pretend play – boxes, pots and pans, mom or dad’s house clothes and
accessories for dress up.
Then there’s the baby gear – stuff everyone tries to make
you think you need when you actually don’t need it! Most of this stuff is either a luxury that
can be bypassed if you don’t mind an extra step here and there, or it’s stuff
to distance you from your baby, discouraging close physical contact between the
two (three) of you. I won’t go into
parenting styles here except to say that I do not believe we have a right to
expect our lives not to change, and to try to make our baby fit into our
schedule. The baby didn’t ask to join
our family. We invited him or her. Therefore, we have to accommodate the baby as
best we can with whatever she or he needs to get the best start in life. In our home, this will involve a lot of
babywearing, skin-to-skin contact, and just overall togetherness at the expense
of whatever was previously considered fun or entertaining for us. Perhaps this is different in different
families, but we longed for this baby for years. We want our lives to change, we’ve prepared
for our lives to change, and we are willing to change our lives to make room
for this little addition.
I’m sure there’s a few other expenses that don’t even come
to mind right off the bat, like regular professional photo shoots (I take
decent pictures myself, thank you very much.)
There’s others, no doubt. One
thing that gets talked about a lot is upgrading car and house when baby arrives. This seems laughable to me. We have a 3 bedroom right now that we don’t
know what to do with. We’ve been looking
for ways to downgrade and simplify, so with a third human family member on the
way, we simply won’t, considering we also hope to have grandparents visiting. But you know what? A baby doesn’t need a private room. Again, this touches on parenting style, which
is best left for another post. But I see
getting your very own room as a right of passage, not a given. The whole home is ours... who’s to say mom
and dad can’t sneak out for a romantic romp on the sofa when they need
privacy?
At any rate, there’s my first go at a critique of what the
powers that be would have me believe about the cost of raising a child. My motto?
Don’t believe everything you hear.
Heh - and that doesn't even begin to touch on the possibilities when it's NOT your first child, and they wear a ton of hand-me-downs. And when the church throws a baby shower and they collectively buy you 9 months worth of diapers. Seriously, I haven't purchased a diaper since my son's shower, and he's 9 months old. There's still Costco cases in the closet, too - they bought multiple sizes.
ReplyDeleteWe figured out early on that once you're past #1, a crib - for the first year, anyway - is just a big fully-enclosed trampoline for the older sibling. They don't really care if the baby's in there or not; they just wanna fly. So, ours sleep in the pack-n-play until they are either too big or can crawl out, at which point they transition straight to a toddler bed. My daughter spent about a month on that, and then we got bunk beds for my son (who's 2 years older.) She took one look and decided the TOP bunk was her territory; she climbed up, ejected all his stuff over the side, and took over. Now we have two bunk beds (in separate rooms) - his 'n' hers.
AND we have a baby sleeping in the pack-n-play next to our bed again. He's nowhere near ready to move out to another room, even if we wanted to; he wakes up at least twice a night.
Of course, he DID cost more than $10,000 his first year... a mandatory C-section and a week in the NICU will do that. I am so very thankful that we have insurance!
-dep31-