So I opted to find other groups that deal equally well in terms of racial issues, but also covers issues of disability, sexism, and LGBTQ concerns much more so than the other group did (though they did occasionally come up). I find that even though the group rules sound pretty much the same as those of the group I left, I have not come across anyone telling someone else to sit on their hands and be quiet, no name-calling, no "you should Google before you speak" (as if we know what we don't know until someone points it out to us). So I'm very happy with these other race-issues groups, and decided I didn't need to put up with being made to feel like the disenfranchised groups just to prove a point.
I'm one of those people who doesn't need to visit the Holocaust museum to understand the gravity of what happened. It doesn't take much for me to see the light, because I do always assume I have room to grow and don't know everything. It pisses me off when people treat me like "just another white girl", and whatever stereotypes that conveys for them.
That said, there is another group that I am now thinking I may want to reconsider. The opposite problem is happening there. It's a group for those involved with embryo donation, but it is entirely from the perspective of the recipient parents. Rainbows and unicorns, as was the saying in the race group I left. I've brought up serious issues to try to get people to consider the perspective of their children, and I've been dismissed as being too negative and in a recent thread, there was actually an onslaught of people who came to comment specifically - it seems - in an effort to minimize the importance of what I said, ignoring it altogether. And yes, I see the irony of my problem with this group versus my problem with the other group I left.
It's a shame, too. I really want to mingle with other EA parents, but I see they have got to be similarly-minded, too. As in, they have to want to parent by taking the child's perspective into consideration. They cannot be of the mind-frame that as the parents, their word is law, that they know better, that the child is to be seen and not heard.