The Lord is slowly leading us to a faith community where we will grow in faith and virtue. We recently made new friends via our homeschooling group, an unlikely family where the parents and children speak Polish and Spanish in addition to English, and who homeschool, and who are Catholic!
Today we decided to go to Divine Liturgy at their Maronite Catholic church in DC. I looked it up online and wasn't sure it was going to be a good fit. I asked our new friend and her answers further made me doubt it.
The women do not veil, and the congregation does not kneel during the service. I have come to really appreciate wearing a scarf during prayer and Mass, even when I'm not in the majority. But since this was a new rite for me, I did not want to come across as bringing my Latinate practices as if they were better than theirs. However, now that I've been once, I would be more comfortable wearing a scarf next time, even if I'm the only one, however I do want to hone in on a better style than just the Muslim-style hijab I've been wearing. And, there was one Latin-rite woman there who wore a scarf that I noticed when we were going up for Communion.
The kneeling is another practice that I would miss. Just like at the Orthodox church, there is no kneeling at all, never mind for reception of Holy Communion. There is standing and sitting. I did see one man receive the Eucharist on his knees (another Latin rite Catholic, probably there with the veiled woman who was right behind him). I resorted to my previous practice of genuflecting immediately before receiving the Eucharist. I had been kneeling regardless of the church lately, but again, I did not want to send a message that I'm a newcomer know-it-all. Perhaps I could receive on the knees in the future, especially after consulting the priest there. But even if not, I realized that if we arrive early enough, the atmosphere of the church was prayerful, so I expect I'd be able to spend a few silent minutes praying in front of the altar or tabernacle, and again afterwards. Plus, just because others aren't kneeling doesn't mean I can't kneel before/after receiving Communion, once I'm back in my pew.
Why am I even talking about how to make peace with these two features that didn't resonate with me? Because something else did. Enough to want to return. Enough to want to discern if this may be the place the Holy Spirit has been leading us to all along.
There was prayerful music. It wasn't the same style of chanting as at the Orthodox church. There was an organ. But there was also singing/chanting that was both in English and Arabic, and it was angelic in its own right. Oscar articulated it best: it was like the Muslim call to prayer.
About 12 years ago, I went through a period of discerning conversion to Islam. Of course, it didn't go anywhere because I realized the Muslim beliefs about Jesus just weren't sound. But three things attracted me to Islam: women's head coverings, the postures of prayer, and Arabic.
The church itself I was expecting to be modern art-deco style, so I didn't think I'd want to come back. But actually, while a modern construction, Oscar pointed out that it was like they made it intentionally to feel like a cave! And it's true! The materials were nothing modern-ish. No metal, no sharp edges. Plain white washed walls. Very Quaker-simple actually. Except the altar. The altar was lighted by a huge window/skylight that bathed the area in light, and cast shadows of crossbeams onto the wall. It really drew the attention to where the Consecration was taking place. Even the crucifix above the altar was small and low to the ground compared to the vast space available for it. Again, drawing our attention to what was happening at the altar.
I tried my best to follow along with the prayers and these too were beautiful. They were all about getting us ready for the Eucharist, and then thanking God for the Eucharist. Maybe we have something like that in the Novus Ordo, but I've never noticed it the way I did at today's Divine Liturgy.
And while we did not receive the Eucharist on our knees, we did receive under both forms, body and blood of our Lord. How long has it been since I've received under both forms! And even then, it was a two-step process. At the Novus Ordo Mass, I'd go up to receive the host, then to take a sip from a chalice. To me, this separation of Jesus into His two parts - body and blood - took away from the powerful meaning of Holy Communion. But here, at the Maronite Divine Liturgy, I only received the Lord once, already under both forms! (Just like at the Orthodox church, but without the spoon, with the familiar host.)
I also want to add that when I received Our Lord in the Eucharist today, under both forms but in one fell swoop, if you will, I immediately thought of the Scripture passage about the road to Emmaus and how the disciples, after Jesus made Himself known to them and then disappeared, said: "didn't our hearts burn within us as He talked with us and opened up the Scriptures to us?" (Luke 24:32) In like manner, I felt a pleasant .... "burning" sensation on my tongue thanks to the "communion wine". Truly, I was able to "taste and see the goodness of the Lord" (Psalm 34:8), which if I'm being honest, I cannot literally taste the host by itself.
I wanted to also add that the sign of peace was quite nice. The priest first expressed peace to his fellow priests, to the deacons, seminarians, servers, and then two altar servers went down the outside aisles and with hands clasped in prayer fashion (without interlocking thumbs) and offered the sign of peace to the first person in each pew on either side, and then those people passed the peace to the next person all the way down their pew. In this way, as long as everyone does this, no one is left out of the sign of peace, which is often a possibility in both Novus Ordo Mass and Orthodox Divine Liturgy, which are more localized and so if no one around you reaches out to you or you don't make an effort yourself, then you won't have shared the peace with anyone.
And so, I will have to do some more research on this beautiful rite. We will need to go ahead and try to tap into the community. I realized too that whenever I would say I wanted diversity, I meant I wanted "Brown" people around! I don't know if it's a desire to be close to people who presumably resemble Jesus, or people who resemble the Romani that I know I have in my background somewhere... but this attraction dates to before meeting Oscar. In fact, I was attracted to him because of his Brownness, if you will.
Sometimes you can't explain why the heart wants what it wants. You just trust in God and follow His promptings. And today, I'm glad I did. I may not be able to get everything I want from the Maronite Divine Liturgy, but I may just get everything that my family and I need.
I feel as though we attended an Orthodox Divine Liturgy, certainly different from the Antiochian Orthodox liturgy we're used to, but nonetheless with enough Eastern features to feel Orthodox, and yet we were fully able to participate, to receive Our Lord with no deception, no waiting, no permission, no nothing! The priest even asked Oscar if our son was receiving, so again, the children are not excommunicated once they are baptized! I only regret not having found this rite earlier so that my children could have grown up with the Eucharist from day one.
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Beautiful Arabic/Syriac chanting
Sign of Peace
Eucharist under both forms
Fellowship after Divine Liturgy
Simple, clean interior
Many priests/deacons/seminarians/altar servers at altar
One year reading cycle
Faint incense present
Confession before every Liturgy (10:15-10:45am)
Religious Education for children before every Liturgy (10am)
Rosary before Liturgy (10:15)
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No kneeling at all (but I can pray quietly kneeling before and after Liturgy as well as after Communion if I choose, plus I'll ask the priest about receiving the Eucharist while kneeling)
No veiling common (but it doesn't mean that I can't continue the practice myself)
Interior unadorned (for kids - but we'll try sitting up front so they can observe what goes on at the altar)
Distance from home (but we were pretty much expecting that no matter what we chose since the local churches are generally Novus Ordo and only Fr. Erick's church with the monthly children's Mass is a viable contendor)
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