Thoughts about Conversion

I hadn't gotten as far as family conversion in my thought process, surprisingly enough.  I am only beginning to think in terms of "conversion" for myself.  

But when I brought up to my kids next week's appointment with Fr. Joshua at the Orthodox church, since they're coming with me as it will be midday, I mentioned the purpose of our meeting: that I am thinking about joining that church.

Interestingly, my daughter immediately asked if I was going to get "dunked" (baptised by immersion).  I mentioned that I might, if I'm "unable" to deliver a certificate of baptism to the priest.  She immediately lit up and announced that she also wanted to get dunked.  (My son, by the way, does not.)

Speaking of dunking, if my daughter and I joined together, she wants to get dunked, so we could just not have baptismal certificates for either of us.  If later the boys join the church, they can present their baptismal certificates and not get dunked (since Antonio does not want to get dunked).  I know it's a little bit of playing fast and loose, but I want to make the process meaningful for my kids.  I've been struggling to engage them in religion for a long time.  If being dunked for my daughter helps make the transition meaningful and helps her feel like something big is happeneing, then I want that for her!  And if not getting dunked for my son will help him feel comfortable about joining us, then I want that for him.  

One thing led to another, and we started talking about how some families convert en masse, and how everyone - children included - immediately become eligible to receive Communion.  

One of the two reasons I have been mentally "waiting" with thoughts of conversion is that my son is about to enter the 2 year preparation period before receiving his first confession and first communion.... in the Catholic church.  The reason we have lingered in the Catholic church is because my daughter did not start receiving Communion until she was 7, and she longed for it for a long time beforehand, and so she doesn't think it's fair that her younger brother should be able to receive at a younger age than her.  

Curiously, both she and I seem to have had the same thought - that if a formal coversion process takes about 2 years, even if children are able to approach for communion right away, in 2 years time, my son will be the "magical" age anyway, and all will be well with the world.

I assumed I had to wait until after his first communion to take any formal steps to leave the Catholic church or join the Orthodox church.  But this is a fascinating monkeywrench....

Then again, Receiving First Communion in the Catholic church is pretty much the last Polish religious traditional milestone that I wanted for both of my children.  Communion in the Catholic church and Communion in the Orthodox church is, well, different.  

Catholic communion is "a wafer" (with possible wine offered separately at some Masses pre-COVID), generally received on the hand nowadays.  It is mass-produced, albeit supposedly in convents or monasteries, and bought en masse and transported long distances to each church.

Orthodox communion is a spoonfull of a wine-soaked morsel of actual bread, baked by one of the parish families specifically for the occasion.

At first, I wasn't interested in conversion to Orthodoxy in part because their communion is so different from ours.  I had grown up on "the wafer", albeit I received on the tongue while kneeling at the altar railing growing up.  Nowadays, the only church where I can still get that sort of experience of "communing with God" (after all, it is called "communion" for a reason!) is either at a Latin Mass church (which in all other ways is depressing and downright creepy in my experience) or at the Polish churches, but even this was pre-pandemic.  Since then, the assembly line is now universal.

Even though there may be said of the Orthodox communion that there's likewise "an assemblyline" since people do walk up in a line and receive standing, the whole experience is so unlike anything done elsewhere in the mundane, secular world, that it warrants comment.  We are literally spoon-fed!  Talk about humility! And symbolism!  We do not "take" communion (which is the general sense when you "receive" in the hand and then help yourself); we "receive" it quite literally. 

What's more, while Catholics used to receive on the tongue from a priest, an altar server would hold a communion plate underneath each communicant's mouth in the event that the host fell, so as to catch it and try again.  No more.  No more communion plate.  No more reception on the tongue.  Half the time, no more priest distributing.  I have seen multiple times eucharistic ministers (or even the priest) drop a host and just casually pick it up as if nothing happened.  I remember hearing stories from my great-grandmother's time that when such a thing happened, the priest would lay prostrate on the ground to repent or pray it back into the chalice or whatnot.  Now, I know it sounds superstitious now, but if we're going to call it the body and blood of our lord, then we should act like it.  That's all.

Orthodox communicants receive from the priest, directly in the mouth, and an assistant or two hold up a red cloth under the chin to catch any drops.  The basic premise is still there - respect communion; it is special.

Another way it's special is that the pre-communion fast in the Orthodox church is no food or drink other than water from midnight on.  While there used to be a noteable pre-communion fast in the Catholic church, it is now a meager "one hour before", which for most people means don't eat anything en route to church, so that by the time communion comes around, it's been an hour since you last ate.  Multiple masses throughout the day also make it tricky.

Then again, apparently sometimes there is a divine liturgy later in the day, though generally it's one on Sunday, as it goes for about 2.5 hours.  When it's in the evening, the fasting suggested is from noon.  Maybe it all comes down to individual devotion.  But most Catholics nowadays are just going through the motions.  I don't know enough Orthodox to know if that's true for them, too.  But at least from my limited experience, and at least at the church I'm looking at, the parish is small enough that the priest knows everyone by name - including me, a mere inquirer!  

I digressed here.  The point was to bring up the idea of my kids potentially converting with me if I do get the green light.  And the timing for that.  I hesitate because of the whole Polish tradition thing, but really, Natalia's first communion was not like mine.  It was luckily outdoors, but she didn't receive kneeling, though she did receive on the tongue. And I have a picture of that.  I know the Orthodox don't encourage photos of such momentous occasions, so I'd be a little disappointed about that.  (But then again, I was disappointed when I couldn't see the doctor loading up my embabies under the microscope, like I did with the first two attempts.  Still, while not how I had hoped, they turned out to be ideal, since they are here with me as my children, and those embies I did see under the microscope are not.)

We can pose for photos in fancy outfits just the same.  Though it won't be a special "Antonio" moment per se if we were to convert together.  It would be a "family" moment, and I think that would take something away from Antonio.